“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
I’ve been contemplating this quote a lot recently. This summer we’ve finally been in person with lots of friends, clients, and family. After spending time at some of these get-togethers, I feel energized and inspired. Others leave me drained, and even sad. As I reflect on why different types of people have such a profound effect on me, clear patterns emerge.
The people I most enjoy spending time with are:
- Positive: They see the good, even in these challenging times.
- Kind: They do the right thing. I had a long conversation with my daughter Arcadia about the difference between nice and kind. We concluded that kind people take action to make others’ lives better, while nice people just say nice things.
- Life-long learners: They are always seeking out ways to learn and grow. No matter what age they are, they remain curious and interested in expanding their understanding of the world around them, and others.
When I reflect on the qualities of the people I feel worse after spending time with, they tend to share a negative mindset and focus on what’s wrong. They often have a victim mentality and their locus of control is external. For example, they say things like: “I can’t ___ because of my boss, the government, my ex….”
How selective are you as to the people that you spend time with? As humans, we can’t help but absorb the energy of the people that we spend the most time with. I pledge to take care of myself better by choosing to spend more time with those who inspire me to be my best self!
What are you going to do to make sure that the 5 people you spend the most time with are food for your soul?